Sunday, May 6, 2012

Out of my comfort zone

It's a beautiful day outside but I'm mad, frustrated and feeling so so sad.

My body hurts, I'm stressing out about nothing, I've gained even more weight back, I have no friends and my boyfriend is an 8 hour drive away.

I finished my first week of work and it wasn't bad, my muscles are definitely sore and they are refusing to stretch out. I really don't want to have to drive a big truck because I'm not that confident of a driver (well of massive things) and I have said I prefer just to be a passenger but what if they need me to drive? Arg! See I'm stressing out about something that hasn't even happened yet.

I got up this morning and I weighed myself. Another 2 pounds up...that means I've gained 8 of those 20 pounds back. Damn it! I just don't want to think about it anymore, I don't want to have to concentrate on what I'm eating, it's so exhausting!

Except for to older ladies (as in, they are 30-ish) I'm the oldest student at work. Which isn't that bad, I mean it's a good range of ages, not all 18 year old's. But how the hell do I make friends? Do I just go, "Hey wanna hang out?" I know it's only been a week and I need to give it more time but I'm feeling a bit desperate.

Duncan...I'm mad at him. Why the hell couldn't he just come to Courtenay? This move has been a lot harder for me then I thought it would, and not so hard for him. Well I'm sure it's hard for Duncan but he didn't have to change everything so quickly.

I thought a couple times to go back but I know it wouldn't be good for anyone. I've stepped outside my comfort zone and that's really hard to do and it has been really hard.

I have a couple hours alone today so I'm going to take a long walk around this new city of mine. I'm going to try to relax and not get so serious about life.

I appreciate you all listening to my rant and I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!

1 comment:

  1. Aw you made the best choice ever. The best things are almost always hardest to achieve. BIG HUGS.